Naughty Fantasies of a Hopeless Nerd

Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin, 1931

Have you ever fantasied about being stuck in a lift with someone famous? I mean, only you and that person? I do it all the time, to the point of imagining the whole scene from beginning to end. It’s really naughty. I will share it with you, but please don’t judge! I already know I’m a hopeless nerd.

If I could place my fantasy anywhere in time, I would probably go about one hundred years back. I mean, so many interesting men to choose from this period in history: Albert Einstein, Bertrand Russell, Gandhi…Can you imagine having the chance of sitting for hours and hours without end chatting with any of these brilliant minds? Sometimes I feel greedy and then fantasise about having more than one idol crammed inside the lift with me. I would assume the role of ice breaker, calling for a game of “truth or dare” or “fortunately / unfortunately” to stimulate conversation until all tensions were released and a good chat spontaneously broke out. Absolute bliss!

Contemporary figures? Plenty to choose from: Stephen Hawkins for a good chat about aliens and space exploration; Barack Obama for a chat about rising to power and a few impressions on eloquence and rhetoric, or Bill Gates for an educated perspective on the dangers and the future of technology. Hard to beat excitement!

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to be pretentious here. Of course I would never complain about being stuck in a lift with Chris Hemsworth or Marlon Brando if, again, I could travel back in time. Just to think of it makes me shiver!

But gosh! after a week of high doses of “Brangelina” drama, displays of impossible bodies in London Fashion’s Week and an unfortunate glitch in my brain that made my finger press the select button at “Keeping up with the Kardashians” one evening, my nerdy side got a bit agitated and started to desperately wonder why, just why, intelligence is not also regarded as “hot” in our western societies?

I mean, I fell in love with my Engineer husband on the date I discovered he was a History geek. We were chatting about his Latvian heritage and suddenly the conversation turned into a private history lesson exclusively for me. It didn’t take long for me to realise how good he was with dates and historical facts. Fifteen years into our marriage, I still find this trait of his absolutely irresistible.

Some other nerdy fantasies of mine? The portal TMZ publishing a picture of James Franco with a tweet along these lines: “@JamesFrancoTV was just spotted leaving @Yale University after handing out his PHD dissertation #hot #knowledge #shapeyourbrain”; or spotting a People’s Special in the magazine stand with a shiny front cover on the “Most Interesting People on Earth”; or how about an E News opening story about a charity champion like Adam Braun and one of his annual fundraising galas in New York. These are all pretty hot news, aren’t they? Never mind, I acknowledge it, I’m just a hopeless nerd.

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